Many blog posts and featured articles concentrate on how to cope with difficult circumstances; they focus on how to respond when the death of a loved one or the loss of a marriage or job occurs. If not there, the focal point of discussion revolves around how to navigate the grieving process, and how to fully and completely heal.
There is a surprising lack of writing however…after all is said and done. Readers are encouraged and guided through the beginning and middle, even to the end, but never more than that. For those whose lives have maneuvered in and out of hard times, it is a fact that life is rarely a walk in the park; there is always a new task, challenge, or even struggle.
With that in mind, here are three tips for how to move on with life after the particularly difficult portions have come and gone. It is important to note that no two people’s lives or experiences are the same, consequently input and direction that is offered needs to be tailored by the reader, to the reader.
Whatever the hardship was, it needs to be remembered, not forgotten
Psychologists are trained to notice and interpret verbal cues, and in grief and trauma work, one of the signs of unresolved pain is when an individual expresses desire or tendency to ‘not think about’ or avoid a topic. In stark contrast, those who have moved through pain and trial to genuine resolution rarely steer clear of the issue.
Having now endured the difficulty, don’t do yourself the disservice of removing from your thoughts or life something that is in fact worth remembering. A good way of thinking about this is considering your favorite book or movie. The only reason that any story is memorable is because there was at one point serious, legitimate, even life-threatening conflict, followed by some form of victory of resolution. You wouldn’t care about a story unless a formidable challenge was overcome.
There is always something to learn, particularly from hardship
Correlating nicely with the previous idea, not only is there something worth remembering, there is something (and usually more than one thing) to really be garnered from the situation.
One of the real tragedies of life is not that bad things happen, but instead when bad things happen, nothing changes inside of a person to prevent another miserable time to come again. The difficult event or phenomenon becomes something worthwhile because those who really went through the event from beginning to end have become something more, a better person even, by passing through it.
The best tools can be used on many projects
Not only are events in a person’s life unique to each person, they are unique to each time period in that person’s life. Simply translated: if an individual endures an identical hardship twice in his or her life, the event is in fact never truly identical, because the second time it occurred, the subject had new life experiences and perspectives under their belt.
To take an abstract ideal to realistic application, consider this: the facing up to a horrible trial like a death of a loved one brings about tremendous stress and anxiety, but the ability to stand in that pain and really feel it…such experience can be used in the future to anchor you through hard times.
Written by Clif, a freelance writer for SereniCare Funeral Homes in Phoenix. Common writing topics include psychology, spirituality, and close relationships.